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The Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director "How do You determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized."

"Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a Teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

Ken Reed

Wow - this is my kind of cure.....Love this one!

CALMNESS IN OUR LIFE
I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and
we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following
simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace.

Dr Phil proclaimed, 'The way to achieve inner peace is to finish
all the things you have started and have never finished.' So, I looked
around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished,
and before the morning was over I finished off a bottle of White
Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a package of Oreos, the
remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some
Doritos, and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I
feel right now.

Pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of
inner peace.

Barack Obama meets with the Queen of England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"

"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Obama frowns "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"

The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"

Tony Blair walks into the room. "Yes, my Queen?"

The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, "That would be me."

"Yes! Very good," says the Queen.

Obama goes back home to ask Joe Biden, his vice president, the same question. "Joe. Answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

"I'm not sure," says Biden. "Let me get back to you on that one." He goes to his advisors and asks every one, but none can give him an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin Powell's shoes in the next stall.

Biden asks Powell, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"

Biden smiles, and says, "Thanks!" Then, he goes back to speak with Obama.

"Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Colin Powell."

Obama gets up, stomps over to Biden, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"